Trails

I went on a church retreat this past weekend. We went to the lake land retreat center. That place was beautiful, and extremely large. For one of the teachings we got to go have alone time with God. Now the place has a gorgeous lake and there's gazebo type things you can sit on and look out across it to the hills and see the sun and all the pretty trees. So during my alone time i decided to go there, the only problem was that the only way to get there was through this path, it was shaded and there were all these creepy crawler things in it. But the thing i noticed most about this path was how easy it would be to get lost.

If i stepped to far to the left or right, i would be lost in this forest with no way to find my way back. So that got me thinking about my relationship with God. 

My life is that trail. Dark, cold, and uncertain. With all types of things that are going to try to get me off track. But as i walked farther and farther into the path i started to see the lake, the sun was at the perfect angle to where it was reflecting the water. I realized if i focused on the lake and let the lake pull me to itself i would be able to get out. I think God is pulling me towards him, screaming out my name and all i have to do is walk to Him, because He'll always pull me to exactly where He wants me to be. All i need to do is listen and look.

Unmoving Love

"When did love become unmoving? When did love become unconsuming?      Forgetting what the world has told me. Father of love you can have me, you can have me."  

There's so much truth to that song. I know for me i wish i could be living that song up all day, everyday. Totally on fire for Him, but we all know that's not true. Its hard to focus on that unmoving love throughout my days. Good and bad. But especially the good. 

Now that sounds a little backwards, but have you ever really stopped to think about when you really get down on your hands and knees to pray? For me its when I'm hurting, and more than less, its when I'm hurting really bad. Or when I'm so helplessly lost i cant even begin to find my way back.

I'm not begging Him to hold me when I'm in a great mood. Of course I thank Him and talk to Him, but its not the same satisfaction, that same wave of serenity when I'm begging Him to notice me during the bad times.

Love that's unmoving,is so hard to come by. I wonder what would happen if everyone who was lost looked to the Father of love? where would the world be.

Drops of Jupiter...

I've always wanted to be the girl in trains song drops of Jupiter. I don't know why though. I think its because the girl in the song was so free, she went to the places most people wouldn't even dream of going let alone actually getting on a rocket ship and going there. I like to say that I'm this outgoing not afraid of anything take life by the horns kinda girl. But to be honest, that's not even close to the truth. My life's decisions haven't been made based on how i felt at that moment. They were made on how i felt everyday and what would if...
All of the moments when i didn't think, when life was on the edge, were when I'm with Hailey. Now granted, shes the reason ill probably end up going bald or white haired, or heck, even both. She makes me angry and upset, but shes also the only person who can make me go from angry beyond angry to happier than a fat baby who gets a cookie.

The truth is Hailey is the girl in drops of Jupiter, not me. Although i wish i could be. Sometimes i think i live life through her, and hey, sometimes i do. I'm happy though, watching for her in the stars while i sit on my rocking chair. I heard this quote once "of two sisters on is always the dancer, the other the watcher."  I found that to be the complete and honest truth. I wouldn't have our relationship any other way.